03.01.2009 - 24.02.2009 25 °C
Been coming in for a bit of criticism of late, hasn't it. In these enlightened times, parading impossibly good-looking women with an allergy to clothing in front of a panel of 'expert' judges (or some old pervs), herding each contestant through an extended and underdressed interview process just to end up with the world's hottest spokesperson for children / old people / international travel, no longer seems like a right and proper thing to do.
And if this is indeed the case, then we are in danger of losing the only truly global competition on Earth, one that every country on the planet can enter regardless of it's comparative wealth. Think the World Cup or the Olympics are fair worldwide events? Nope, success in either largely depends on cash and resources. To stand a chance in the Miss World contest you only need to stump up your top totty. And everyone, everywhere, has some of that.
But don't fret, I have a solution. Open, fair and friendly international sparring can continue. We can retain the classic Miss World format, even keep the judging criteria, but instead of giving bikini models marks out of ten we can replace all the human eye candy with... the countries themselves.
That's right. Each country gets a chance to put on it's best, most revealing clobber and swan around in front of a global audience in search of votes.
I think it's genius.
There is just one tiny, small, minor, little problem. New Zealand would win every time. Every year, each contest. All of them. NZ would sweep the board. Lets face it, when it comes to lookers, Aotearoa New Zealand is a real sort. Hot as hell. F.I.T.
And it would irk every other country who bothered entering this pan-world peep show of a competition to know that New Zealand manages to maintain it's stunning appearance without any noticeable ego on show whatsoever. No fancy jewellery jangling, no strutting arrogance and no elaborate (and false) face paint. Kiwiland is not just one of life's natural born lookers, it is as close to visual perfection as anyone could imagine.
Sure, other countries may also possess long flowing rivers, some of them may front equally impressive mountain ranges, and I've no doubt that curvaceous rolling hills are not an NZ exclusive, but I bet you can't name another country on the planet that has all of these assets. In such number, at once, and often on show simultaneously.
New Zealand is the complete package.
A few mug shots by way of example, but I'm afraid they in no way do this place justice.
And I haven't even reached the best bit yet.
More salacious material once I've delved further south.